All-Day-and-Night Sickness

So I was really hoping I might be in the 25% population that doesn't get morning sickness (since I somehow made the cut into the <1% of people that don't have wisdom teeth!)

Well- I got the answer to that question today (although I am still not 100% sure...I am also considering that I have food poisoning [bad me - I ate Turkey that had been in the fridge too long], or some sort of bug [given that I have a temperature]).
I started out having wickedly-horrible heartburn on the way home from work (pretty typical for me). I took some TUMS, but it did not go away. Took a couple more when I got home along with my daily Zantac (which I think I'm going to change because I don't think it's doing much).

Went to sleep around 9am and tossed and turned until around 11am when I got up and proceeded with the puking - which lasted roughly until 10pm. I was debating going to the emergency room (I have NEVER had heartburn that bad), but decided to call my OB's office instead. The doc on call told me that the severe heartburn is not uncommon - especially since I have been throwing up all day. He prescribed an anti-nausea medication for me. I didn't choke one down until about 9:15 - because I didn't think I could keep it down. Slept fitfully for about an hour and woke up at least not wanting to puke up my other lung...(I think my first one came out earlier). Still have wicked bloating, and in addition to all of my continuing pelvic and abdominal discomfort (thanks Endo!), I now have super sore abs due to my puke-fest.

Such a pathetic creature am I. I hate it.

just an update...

I'm feeling very well. I'm due August 28th which is going to make August a super crazy month (even more than now).

So far...
August 7th - my sister-in-law's birthday
August 11th- my nephew's birthday
August 12th - my sister-in-law 's birthday
August 19th - my husband's birthday
August 23rd - our anniversary

My due date is in August, and my brother's baby is due in August as well.

We're not going to find out the gender, and we're not revealing any possible baby names which is driving everyone crazy, but oh well! This is what we want!

I took another pregnancy test today because I was starting to feel unsure, given that so many people know now! We told my parents this morning, called James' father this morning and called his mum the day we found out.

It's still overwhelming and I still can't believe it. Had no remote idea it would only take one month trying. Wow. I doubt I'll believe it until I see it on a Sonogram - or more likely - when it actually comes out ---- which reminds me that I am TERRIFED of giving birth!

Still so happy................

overjoyed

I just had a feeling. I got home from work this morning and told James I was going to take a pregnancy test. He asked me why. I knew it was likely to be negative, but I just had to know for sure. I knew if it was negative, that I could still BE pregnant as well.
Well, to make a long story short, the test told me very quickly that I was indeed pregnant. I had another type of test - a digital one - and also assured me that the two lines I had seen on the other test were correct. I AM PREGNANT!
I cried for a good 10 minutes with tears of joy (and a bit of shock as well). Wow. Now I'm scared of giving birth...haha. Curious to know if it's a boy or a girl...although we're not going to find out what it is until the birth itself. Nervous and so very excited. I have to work tonight, and sleep is just not coming to me.

yay?

So...I just went off to the bathroom and discovered a bit of pink. Initially I was very sad, thinking that the notorious Aunt Flo is just around the corner. However, after searching online, I learned that a bit of pink can be seen about a week after suspected ovulation (which I am about 9 days out) as the noted implantation bleeding. This sent both me and James into huge smiles and optimistic cheer. We should know for sure around Christmas.........

Hopeful

In the last 72 hours, I have learned that not only is my little brother going to be a father again (number 2 for them), but that one of my friends is going to have her fourth baby. I can't tell you how happy I am for the both of them - but also a tad jealous.

Both of these were unplanned (not unwanted). I can't help but be jealous - since right now I want more than anything to have the opportunity to be a mother. And, I am still not sure if I am going to be able to achieve that dream. I have completely moved from super pessimistic about my ability to procreate to potentially entirely too optimistic. I have everything crossed right now that the planets will line up, and I will have good news in a couple weeks.

Despite me convincing myself that no one would find out for eight weeks (to reduce the possibility of the heartache of telling people I've miscarried), I have selfishly informed enough people that we're trying - so much that I now have a short list of people to tell whether or not Aunt Flo arrives in two weeks.

It's hard to not get optimistic about this possibility - and my husband constantly depresses me with bringing me back to the reality that in all likelihood - I am NOT pregnant. In my optimistic stupor, however - I continue to be hopeful that in two weeks I will be able to report good news. Otherwise, I will probably cry myself into another fetal position due to my overwhelming ability to get my hopes up too high.

I guess we'll see.

Sad

So...
I have come to realise that when it comes to this whole pregnancy thing - I may be entirely too optimistic. I've been off the pill for three weeks (and a day) and already I've taken two pregnancy tests with non-surprising results. I can't figure out what made me mentally switch from uber-pessimistic thinking I'm going to end up being told I can't get pregnant to thinking I'm Ms. Fertile Myrtle. I don't even know if my body is capable of ovulating yet!
I need to continue to be optimistic...just a bit less...so I don't wind up crushed in the end.

probably too optimistic......

We only started "trying" a week ago.
I'm probably being too optimistic because at this point when we say trying, it just means I'm off the pill. I started taking my basal body temperatures, but only because I wanted to get an idea of what my base is. I'm not sure how well that method will work, since I work nights, so my waking time is never the same.
The other day before work I got a little sick and - of course- I had the fleeting thought "could I really be pregnant already"? I told James, and course he got way more excited than I wanted, and I eventually caved in and took a pregnancy test - well knowing that I was more than likely only going to see one line and not two. I had said I wasn't going to take a test until after I got my monthly crimson wave back - that is to say if it does come back.

I guess right now I could say I'm "cautiously optimistic" about the pregnancy thing. I'm hoping it happens without a glitch, but I'm prepared for the long haul of fertility treatments.

Everyone keep your fingers crossed for the former, because drumming up enough energy for the latter.......will definitely take awhile.

Deciding...

I want to have a documentation of this experience, and I am too lazy to sit down and write, so I've decided to blog it instead. Don't really care if anyone ventures to read it, I just want to have it down somewhere.

My (new) husband James and I have decided we're going to start trying for a baby. Granted, we've only been married for 7 and a half weeks now (53 days if you're really counting), after much discussion (and plenty before we were married as well), we think we're ready. James seems a bit more ready than I am - which has me a little apprehensive, but deep down, I know I'm meant to be a mother.

I think I'm a little nervous about the journey, only because I don't know what it will entail. I was officially diagnosed with endometriosis 9 months ago, after 13 years of speculation. It was a relief to finally have a name for my pain, but at the same time it was a bit sad to know I'd carry that term with me forever. I've coped with it as best as I know how - talking about it, and not being ashamed of it.

I'm anxious about what lies ahead, only because I don't know how quickly it will take us to get pregnant. I could get pregnant immediately.....I could struggle with it......or I could be infertile. Chances are more the middle ground of that spectrum, but not knowing is a little nerve wracking. I think because I long to be a mother so badly I don't want to hear anyone tell me it's not going to happen. It pains me to know there are so many unwanted and mistreated children in the world, when there are so many people that long for the child they'll never have.

I also have been juggling the thought of whether or not I am ready to carry the burden of being a mother (I know I'm ready for the joy...) Giving up full "rights" to my husband, when he only just became mine.....and also giving up the freedom that goes along with being a young adult. I was very sheltered as a child (and allowed myself to be as a teenager)....and again in my early twenties when I moved back home, I only now feel like life is becoming mine and love feeling in complete (nearly) control of what happens. Am I truly ready to give that up?
I talked with James about this earlier (while he was thousands of miles away in Ireland), and he said something that has sat well with me. We're not giving something up. That's just part of the package. And, we're not really giving up anything in our relationship, we're adding something to it, that's an extension of us.

I love that my husband knows what to say at the right time - in the right way. I know I over-analyze and over-think things....often to the death and to my own dismay. James is the perfect compliment to this seemingly flaw of mine, but I know I need to be a little more spontaneous and just enjoy the ride.

So.............here goes!