tiny little tears

Seeing a little baby cry real tears is heartbreaking!
My little girl has started crying tears occasionally when she is upset!

She has changed so much in the last few weeks it is so hard to believe! She weighed 9lbs even yesterday - I can't believe how big she is getting!

I am absolutely loving being a mother, but it is definitely exhausting. The last few days especially she has been very good during the day, but has been an absolute screaming mess in the evening. Last night she cried from 7:30 to midnight, to really stop only when feeding ... which she wanted to do constantly. She has started cluster feeding before bed, which despite my best intentions around 8pm ... always winds up between midnight and 1am. It's exhausting and very frustrating. A lot of the time it makes me want to throw in the towel with the breastfeeding (even though we're not having any trouble anymore) because she makes me so sore and it would be nice to have the option of someone else comforting her. I love my baby girl but I hate sometimes that she is so dependent on me. I wouldn't have it any other way though --- I really want to exclusively breastfeed as long as possible. I reckon we'll offer her a bottle of breastmilk soon, but I'm not ready for that just yet!

Other than that things are going relatively well - this girl is definitely giving me a run for my money. During the day she tends to nurse, followed by either a 20-30 minute nap or a 10 minute period of happy play followed by fussing and then crying that almost never calms except with feeding. Occasionally she can be rocked to sleep, but most of the time it's feeding that she wants. It makes it almost impossible to get much done during the day!!!

Fortunately she has started smiling in the last week! (Her first 'official' smile (i.e. smiling back at someone) was October 1st) After her big morning feeding when she is happiest she almost always gives me a big grin. It's absolutely beautiful!
My dad came over this afternoon and she offered him a big smile as soon as he walked through the door.
The best part was seeing her smiling at her daddy the other day and him smiling back. One of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. It was priceless.