tank again

My milk supply is definitely not keeping up anymore. My freezer stash has dwindled from two baskets full of milk to just a handful of freezer bags. Tonight, Charlotte just screamed after she had completely drained me on both sides. James had to give her a bottle to pacify her, as nothing I did could soothe her.

James and my mother-in-law keep telling me "oh you've done so well breastfeeding for 7 months, you shouldn't feel bad."

But I do.

I'm not ready for her to wean from me just yet. I cherish this bond that we have, and I don't want it to end just yet. She's such a busy girl right now, it's nice to have those quiet (albeit sometimes busy as well - as she grabs her feet, kicks and yanks her head from side to side) moments that only the two of us can share. Once the breastfeeding ends, so do those tender moments. And, while there will be other moments, there is nothing like the feeling that you're giving your beloved child the gift of life through nourishment. To see her have grown as much as she has is quite satisfying to know that I was able to accomplish that - it is definitely one of my biggest feats to this day.

I'm just not ready for it to end.

Having gone from having a super milk supply to not enough is very disheartening. I feel like I'm not doing something right because of it, and it's hard to not feel like I'm failing somehow.

I'm going to get another bottle of Fenugreek in the morning, and also call the lactation consultant in the morning to get some advice. I'm not sure what else to do at this point. I don't think formula is evil, I just never thought we'd actually have to give her any, and I loved that thought. I was comfortable with that thought.

And the thought that the day we may have to give her some is lurking in the distance ... makes me very sad.

knees up!

Charlotte has officially figured out how to move her knees under her and crawl properly! She doesn't do it all the time, but she definitely has it figured out! This aids her new talent of climbing on and over everything she can, as well as pulling on things to stand up! This girl is growing so fast! It's hard to take everything in, because she does new things all the time!

hey, soul sister

About a week ago, I had the radio on while I was doing some housework (a.k.a. supervising Charlotte on the floor) ...
I had gone to the back to get something, or go to the bathroom, ... something of the sort, and James was out in the living room.
I came out and he had Charlotte on his shoudlers (she loves it up there!) and he was dancing around with her to the new 'Train' song "Hey, soul sister". Every single time I hear that song on the radio now, I think of that particular moment, which is one of the purest, most beautiful moments I have in my memory of the two of them. I loved that moment.

"Hey soul sister, I don't wanna miss a single thing you do ... tonight."

solids

Today is the day! Charlotte is going to start solids!
After MUCH deliberation, we are going to start with oatmeal (homemade, of course). I had wanted to start her on green beans, but we decided that green beans are gross, and thus we should not torture the poor girl with green beans as her VERY first meal. So ... oatmeal it is! Amy showed me a really great website with baby food information and recipes: www.wholesomebabyfood.com

I am anxious to start her on solids ... breastfeeding is easy!

army-crawling

This girl is not wasting time! She army-crawls which is so cute! She looks like a little inchworm flinging herself forward on her arms. Thank goodness she is not super fast yet! This place is a bit safer for a baby, but we have definitely got to be a bit more careful what goes on the floor now!!!

we have achieved forward motion!

I picked Charlotte up from Amy's today, and she was definitely creeping forward! She had been moving backwards, but this girl had definitely achieved forward motion! I am hoping that she waits awhile to get fast because we have not baby-proofed!

tank.

We had to feed Charlotte a bottle again. I just cried and cried. I am so scared my milk supply is going to drop off and I won't be able to breastfeed for a year like I hope to.
I dashed off to the store to buy oatmeal (which can increase milk production) and a bottle of Fenugreek - which is a herb that can stimulate milk production as well. I am desperate, and so hoping that this works!